The Adventures of Silent Hill: Epic Beginning
by MonochromeRainbowDreams
Summary: Random days in the world of Silent Hill where hoes respawn, Pyramids are drag queens, teen girls PMS, and people are overall Nerf Herders! lol Star Wars Reference!  XD No flames. Constructive criticism is welcome and Silent Hill doesn't belong to me!
1. Welcome to the Wierd

It was another dismal day in Silent Hill. Nothing had happened all day, and Pyramid Head was BORED. "Come on man! There has to be SOMETHING to do around here!" Bob the Pyramid Head yelled at his weird buddy Valtiel.

He just giggled. "Well, maybe there would be something to do if you would stop killing everything that even looks alive." He retorted.

"I don't kill everything, just a few lying figures here and there, the mannequins, and Maria."

"Point proven."

"NOT!"

"Is that denial I hear?"

"SHUT UP ALREADY AND LET'S GO!"

"Buttwi-"

POW! And with that, they began to wonder the cold, damp streets of Silent Hill.

MEANWHILE:

James Sunderland trudged through the streets, worn out from the last fight he had with a lying figure. Suddenly, he heard metal screaming against the ground.

He recognized that sound.

RED PYRAMID. CRAP, CRAP, CRAP! He ran into the nearest alley, praying for an exit. The sound got closer, followed by chuckling.

"Hi Jamesey, nice seeing you here."

"…."

"I SAID HI."

"Go die."

Pyramid Head walked forward, just to be met by handgun bullets.

"HAHAHAHAHAHA! I'm BULLETPROOOOF!"

James turned to run, just to run into the wall. He was out cold.

"Uh, I think you went a bit far, Bob."

"Is his neck supposed to be bent like that?..."

10 hours later

James woke up, vision foggy at first, but after clearing, he saw he was in a dark room with 4 people. One was a girl, about 17, with dirty blonde hair sleeping in a corner. There were 3 men, all on the ground sleeping. James got up and walked towards the girl. He shook her lightly. "

Hey-"he started before she awoke with a start, clocking James in the face. "

WHO ARE YOU?" she yelled, waking the others with a start.

"Who are YOU?" he mocked, clutching his jaw.

"I asked first, nitwit. WHO ARE YOU?"

"James, you?"

"Heather. Heather Mason."

"Henry Townshend."

"Harry Mason."

"Alex Shepard."

"That red pyramid thing got me…."

"Yep, and I think it was hilarious." A voice from outside the door said.

"Let us out!" Heather screamed.

"Make me."

Heather took a deep breath and unleashed beams from her eyes.

"SEXY BEAM!"

The door was demolished, and there was dust coming up from how fast Pyramid head ran.

"Dobe!" James screamed. "WE COULD HAVE GOTTEN OUT IN THE FIRST PLACE!"

The world blew up and we lived happily ever after, THE END! :D


	2. YouTube Material?

Pyramid Head mumbled as he finally woke up out of a deep sleep. As he began to do his morning stretches, something green beside him caught his eye. He gazed over at it, and realized it was James. James with a camera, to be exact.

"What in the name of Alessa are you doing?" He said, aggravated at the human.

"Um… Nothing…." He said quickly before running out of the room.

"Weirdo humans…." He grumbled, brushing it off as nothing.

MEANWHILE: "I got it!" James yelled when he got into the cold, dark building that for some reason smelled like tacos.

"Great!" Heather said with an evil grin, "Now we have perfect YouTube material!"

"Uh, isn't a video of Pyramid Head sleeping with Mr. Fuzzybottom going a bit overboard?" Henry said nervously.

"Was it a bit much when he gave James a wedgie, called him gay, and tickled his feet?" Heather shot back.

"Yeah but-"

"Shut up!"

"Two wrongs-"

"SHUT UP!"

"Don't make a-"

He didn't get to finish his sentence. Heather kicked him in a spot that can't be named (A/N: XD) and he dropped to the ground clutching his…. Business…

"Ok guys, now let's get to work." She said.

BACK TO P-HEAD: Pyramid Head was frolicking about, raping and killing everything that even looked alive like normal, when he heard voices. He couldn't hear them clearly because of his helmet, but he caught some of it.

"You_mat_"

"Wedg_gay_feet_"

And a very high pitched scream…..

"**Did I miss something?"** he thought to himself before walking away slowly…

TBC.

**Ok, this was the second chapter to my story. It's going to be the start of a multi-chapter adventure starring the protagonists and Pyramid Head. If anyone has ideas or some kind of helpful criticism than feel free to say. PS: Reviews help… XD**


	3. Sunshine, Lollipops, and Rainbows

Heather was exhausted. She had been editing the video and yelling at James all day for bringing back crappy video data. Obviously he thought PH walking by was freaking hilarious.

Heather's POV:

My head hurts. Henry's an idiot, James sucks with a camera, and Alex is just not there….

I mean, guys are useless. I don't want to be here right now, but fate is a douche bag. I wish my dad was here… He'd kick PH's butt.

Meanwhile:

James was still stalking PH, who seemed to not care or notice. All video data he had gotten so far sucked…. Like REALLY sucked. He's the freaking executioner of Silent Hill and all he does all day is walk around and rape stuff?

James gave up for the day. Camcorder still in hand, he waltzed down the road singing _Sunshine Lollipops and Rainbows._

**Sunshine, lollipops and rainbows,  
>Everything that's wonderful is what I feel when we're together,<br>Brighter than a lucky penny,  
>When you're near the rain cloud disappears, dear,<br>And I feel so fine just to know that you are mine.**

He rounded a corner, still singing, but feeling slightly sad.

**My life is sunshine, lollipops and rainbows,  
>That's how this refrain goes, so come on, join in everybody!<br>**

**Sunshine, lollipops and rainbows,  
>Everything that's wonderful is sure to come your way<br>When you're in love to stay.**

That's when he came to an abrupt halt.

TBC

**DUH DUH DUH! Cliffhanger! Ha, I know this story probably sucks so far, but I'm trying.**

_**Sunshine Lollipops and Rainbows **_**does not belong to me. Silent Hill doesn't either sadly… Reviews and stuff help! xD**


	4. Blackmail Fo' Sho

:D I'M BAAAAAAAAACK!

James' POV:

P-Head. Dress. Drag queen?...

I know, huh? But there he was, bright dress and all. He could rival RuPaul. I think I just barfed a little in my mouth…

General POV:

James pulled out the video camera. This would be GREAT blackmail material. Hehe…

…

-At the Hideout thingy that smells like tacos-

Heather was dosing off while reading some tourism pamphlet she found on a park bench next to a health drink. James busted in suddenly, video camera in hand.

"HEAAAAAAAATHHHHEEEEERRRRR!"

She jumped up and grabbed her crowbar and threw it in the direction of the voice, hearing a loud 'THUNK!' and a groan.

"Oops."

"I… got…. IT!"

"What, you idiot?"

"IT."

Heather rolled her eyes and grabbed the video camera from him.

This better be good.

**REVIEW AND I'LL ADD MORE!  
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	5. THE Mighty PHead

**Thank you for reviewing, 'I like soda D'**

**I appreciated it. :D**

ON WITH THE STORY!

Heather's eyes were wide open and on the screen, watching intently. Not a single yawn, groan, or naggy comment.

"**Is that good?"** James wondered.

The Video: Pyramid Head sashayed around in the dress, throwing out his hips as he did. You could hear faint mumbling from under the helmet as he went about.

_Stroll down the runway, Another payday  
>Cover of magazines<em>

_And when they see me, They wanna be me  
>I am the fantasy<em>

_Covergirl! Put the bass in your walk!  
>Head to toe! Let your whole body talk!<em>

_To Graumann's Chinese, Red carpet TV  
>Valet my limousine<em>

_Box office sweetie, An Oscar nominee  
>Now watch me snatch trophies<em>

_Walk... Now, walk...(and what?)  
>Pump and bump it<br>Pump it and bump, bump it _

RuPaul's _Cover Girl _played in the background. Finally, after about 5 minutes, it ended. James was still worried, because the look on Heather's face was unreadable. Finally, she spoke.

"James, we have YouTube material."

"What do I get out of this?"

"Nothing, now go away, I gotta edit this."

"But you promise—"

"GO AWAAAAAAAAY!"

He pouted and walked out.

Heather's POV:

This is amazing. With this, we can kill the "mighty" Red Pyramid's reputation and not have to worry about being anally raped every ten seconds…

TBC!

**Ok, I know that's short, but there will be a lot more later. **

**Thanks again for the review!**

**Till next time. :3**


End file.
